@Reverend_Scott

“Daddy, where do babies come from?”

From mommies.

“How do they get inside?”

CAN’T U ASK WHY THE SKY IS BLUE HAVEN’T U WONDERED ABOUT THAT

You Might Also Like

@VerbsRProudest

I have a draft that just says “rhino!” & I cannot even wrap my brain around why I thought that would make sense.

@3sunzzz

Me: My son totaled another car.

Progressive: I see that you insure 3 teen sons?

M: yes

P: *covers phone* HEY GUYS, WE’RE GOING TO ARUBA!

@Works4Shots

How to get mustard out of your white shirt..
1) go to a store
2) buy a new shirt

@Whatevah_Amy

If anyone breaks in, I take comfort in knowing they’ll never get past the 20 pairs of shoes in the hallway.

@Jennifergr8

I’m beginning to think some of you are not your Avi’s, which makes me sad. I thought I had a unicorn and dinosaur friend.

@LlamaInaTux

I hope a fish kills me and takes a pic holding me so it can meet a cute girl fish on tinder

@Home_Halfway

Go to a fancy restaurant. Order the lobster. Order it alive. When it comes, order food for your new pet lobster. Then take lobster home.