If I refer to you as ugly, I always mean on the inside, you piece of shit.
Dads, don’t tell your daughters they are “pretty”. Tell them they’re strong. Tell them they’re smart. Tell them they can’t be prosecuted for theft until they’re 10.
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You can sign up for as many karate classes as you want there is literally no one monitoring this
my 80yr/o grandma is on facebook & she is a living click-bait article, she didn’t even tell me what to do with it
If Snow White can trick 7 men into supporting her, then I’m sure I can find at least one sucker to do that for me.
“Sorry, I have to take this call.”
“That’s a banana. And it’s half eaten.”
*covers banana with hand
“I don’t tell you how to do business.”
“Your word is disaster.”
“Can you use it in a sentence?”
“That outfit you’re wearing looks like a natural disaster.”
Want his attention?
Want to piss him off?
When he responds,
reply “Oops, wrong person”
date: so what do you do?
me: *doing a huge amount of karate* adderall
1 Bitcoin = 19.62 USD. What does it say about your economy when imaginary internet money is worth more than your “Real World Money”?
BIDEN: That went well.
OBAMA: Did you have to say you loved Trump’s sons in Twilight?
BIDEN: It’s what I do.