@bea_ker

Dads, don’t tell your daughters they are “pretty”. Tell them they’re strong. Tell them they’re smart. Tell them they can’t be prosecuted for theft until they’re 10.

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@freedom2726

If I refer to you as ugly, I always mean on the inside, you piece of shit.

@Karate_Horse

You can sign up for as many karate classes as you want there is literally no one monitoring this

@scarfdud

my 80yr/o grandma is on facebook & she is a living click-bait article, she didn’t even tell me what to do with it

@NikiWithIssues

If Snow White can trick 7 men into supporting her, then I’m sure I can find at least one sucker to do that for me.

@_steamy_mac

“Sorry, I have to take this call.”
“That’s a banana. And it’s half eaten.”
*covers banana with hand
“I don’t tell you how to do business.”

@Rollinintheseat

*spelling bee*

“Your word is disaster.”

“Can you use it in a sentence?”

“That outfit you’re wearing looks like a natural disaster.”

@texasstalkermom

Want his attention?

Send nudes

Want to piss him off?

When he responds,
reply “Oops, wrong person”

@YourAnonNews

1 Bitcoin = 19.62 USD. What does it say about your economy when imaginary internet money is worth more than your “Real World Money”?

@Crutnacker

BIDEN: That went well.

OBAMA: Did you have to say you loved Trump’s sons in Twilight?

BIDEN: It’s what I do.