Damn boy! What’s your zodiac sign? Bc I think we should make that Sagittariuu into SagittariUS
Oh you’re a Leo? Le OH ..where are you going?

You Might Also Like


[Speed dating]

HER: I’m really into astronomy

ME: the moon follows me when I drive


Ladies, if he says he would go to the “end of the earth” for you and then he goes missing, check Finland.


overheard my 7yo telling a friend he speaks Italian but what the friend doesn’t know is to my son speaking Italian just means shouting “ITSA ME! MARIO!”


I went to confession and the priest said, “pics or it didn’t happen.”


I’m sorry your tc cheated on you with their spouse, will you please stop writing poems now


Body: We need to sleep

Brain: Do fish have any concept of rain?



familiarity breeds contempt yes but honestly what doesn’t


Landlords be like “it’s an old building” alright then I’ll pay old rent, here’s 20 bucks it’s a fortune


My 6 year old has already asked me 4,327 questions this morning. I’m seriously considering getting another Vasectomy just to be safe.