@boring_as_heck: Damn girl, is your dad an astronaut? Because I'd like to meet him. Please let me meet your astronaut dad.
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@WilliamAder: Don't ask me if I have a safety pin if you're going to look at me all weird when I pull one out of my pocket and hand it to you.
@CatsVsHumanity: Doctor: send me a message on the patient portal if you have any questions? Me: what happens to our energy after we die? Doctor: no, not like that Me: do crabs think fish can fly? Doctor: not like that either Me: how many popsicles is too many popsicles? Doctor: please stop
@aRealLiveGhost: anti-tattoo people saying "my body's a temple" like they wouldn't worship at a temple that had an enormous mural of a tiger fighting a cobra