damn girl, you got a butt that WON’T QUIT *butt pulls out a knife* wait, no- *butt stabs me* no, stop- *butt doesn’t stop* …et tu, bootay

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escape room employee: would you like a hint?

me: hmm this door says PUSH which likely stands for Pull Until Secrets Happen


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No thank you.
I already have a cat.


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I’m just going start inventing words and then tell people that’s what we call it in England.


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Southerner: [pouring mac and cheese into deep fryer] No.