Dance like no one’s a werewolf. Eat like you found it in the couch. Shout like your cat’s sleeping. Feel good like a bossy poem told you to.
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just overheard a conversation
“You’re a tutor, right?”
“What subjects do you toot?”
Once when I had a broken toe, my mom told me to walk it off. When Princess Di died, she sobbed for a day.
[finishes a 15 minute drum solo] I think that answers your question, your honor.
been making coffee at home instead of getting starbucks for two months which according to economists should’ve made me a billionaire by now so what is happening
Wife: The kids made you these cakes for Father’s Day! What do you think of them?
Me: They’re awful. But at least they made me these cakes
how much my patient talks about their healthy choices
▶ 🔘──────── 00:05
how much my patient talks about their single daughter
▶ 🔘──────── 74:36:15
my superhero friends never let me be the head of our giant robot because I refuse to stop kissing airplanes
“Son it’s time we had the talk”
“Cmon dad I know about se..”
“Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams”
“It was an inside job”
O: put your seatbelt on, honey
o: i will, mom
O: you ready?