What if balloons take over and start twisting us into animal shapes?
Date: I like old fashioned guys
Me: I have polio
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Behold…the 4th horseman of the Apocalypse.
*Computer crashes, I reboot it*
Computer: Windows was not shut down properly.
Me: Don’t put this on me, man.
DATE: *takes a sip of her water*
ME: haha ok wow can you tone down the pda you’re behaving very erotically
Enough with the fist bumping. I never understand what is happening. This time I held my hands open because I thought he was giving me M&Ms
Man Who Didn’t Order Anything Online Still Checks Name On Package Just In Case Amazon Sent Him A Little Present
CAMPING TIP: If you get lost in the woods, a compass can help you get lost more north.
DIRECTOR: I want amazing CGI
D: A huge cast
D: Realistic family photos
P: We don’t have the budget
To date, my most successful weight loss programs have been heartbreak, pneumonia and botulism.