Why are they called Big Pharma and not The Pilluminati
date: i like the strong silent type
me: [quietly trying to lift the table over my head]
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My oldest son & his gf were cooking & asked me how many 1/4 cups are in 1 cup ….
Gonna write a nasty letter 2 college & ask for a refund
Mirror mirror on the wall, can I call you Jim or something cuz I’m not saying mirror mirror on the wall every time. That’s just ridiculous
Vet: We have to put his dog down
Assistant: You tell him
Vet: No, you
John Wick: What are you two whispering about?
JOHN KASICH: my dad was a mailman so i understand our nation’s struggles
MODERATOR: what how
JK: i went through everyone’s mail
[An old thermometer breaks scattering mercury beads all over the floor]
“Get out of here, NOW!”
“HAVEN’T U SEEN TERMINATOR 2?”
Strip search? … OK, but I’m going to need some background music.
She changed her mind ..
Hope the new one works !!
“Omg there’s a picture of him blowing smoke out of his mouth. I must bang him this instant”- no one, ever.