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@truegritrumble: DATE: I like your shirt.
ME: Well you can’t have it.
@stodghill10: what happens when you put nutella on salmon
u get salmonella
someone d8 me plz
@juneohara65: Someone just told me to dim the lights and called it a beauty tip.
@primawesome: I like my coffee like I like my slaves.
Free, you racist.
@sucittaM: If my name was Dave I'd text my friends today saying "IT'S FRIDAVE! LET'S PARTY!". They'd be sick of me by Tuesdave.
@good2go013: Life Tip:
Do not treat your woman like an object. It hates that.