I just said “Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary” to the mirror hoping that I’d have someone new to talk to
DATE: so what kind of writing do you do?
ME: um, cursive, regular…
DATE: no I mean-
ME: actually I can’t do cursive :/
You Might Also Like
i’ve found my new favorite subculture
THIRD RULE OF FIGHT CLUB: Only one juice box per person.
Saw a tweet about foods to help your sex life.
I need sex to help my sex life, not food.
so ur trying to tell me a buffalo chicken made this dip
Google Moon is NOT what I thought it would be.
*pulls up pants
My mom handed me her phone to find me on Twitter… So I deleted her account, uninstalled the app, and told her it went out of business.
When someone asks me if I’m seeing anyone, I automatically assume they’re talking about a psychiatrist.
“Haha those ‘said no one ever’ jokes are pretty funny” -said no one ever
divorced parents be meeting at store parking lots exchanging they kids like it’s a drug deal. 😭