me: [tells joke]
son: I don’t get it
me: well ur mom told me a joke once and it took me 9 months to get it
Her: OMG my dad keeps texting me he’s so annoying
Me: [hoping to impress her] yeah he’s a piece of shit
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Clark Kent: why would I change in a phonebox?
P: I didnt-
CK: I’m not Superman
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Here is a poem for #NationalDrinkWineDay entitled “The Problem of Writing a Poem in the Shape of a Wine Glass”.
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This is the worst carnival ever. I can’t believe they blocked the street off for this.
Sir, this is a crime scene.