@jwoodham: DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.
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@InternetHippo: “What attracted you to our company?” Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work
@DamnitJosh: "Better to be pissed off than pissed on!" Actually, I prefer a third scenario where I'm not angry or covered in piss.
@lawyerthoughts: *throws phone over courthouse metal detector. catches phone on the other side. resumes conversation*
@Frankie_Val: 100 ways to reach me: 1.) Text Me. 2.) Call Me. 2.) E-Mail. 3.) FB .... 98.) Homing Pigeon. 99.) Signal Flares. 100.) Voice Mail