Starbucks really isn’t that expensive when compared to what Victoria’s Secret charges per cup
Dating tip: Men find mysterious woman alluring, so keep the spark alive by occasionally acting like a lunatic possessed by the devil.
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humans only use 10% of their treadmills
When a computer program says “Not Responding” I start texting it stuff like “Who are you with?” and “Just heard our song”
It’s summer. We’re young. Let’s sneak into someone else’s pool and skinnydip. If we get caught, we stab them and assume their identities.
Why do people always make such a fuss over how much a newborn weighs? It’s a baby, not a stash of heroin.
Unfortunate sticker placement.
‘Do what you want!’ she cried lying back on the bed. ‘I love a man who takes control.’
‘OK’ he said and put her CDs into alphabetical order.
Mean The Same Thing.
Unless You’re At A Funeral.
Legalize Marijuana and Criminalize Karaoke.