@Parkerlawyer

Day drinking poolside. There’s literally nothing that could ruin this moment.

“MOMMY WATCH THIS!”

You Might Also Like

@ellieholcomb

Watched The Little Mermaid with my girl last night & realized that Aerial could be on an episode of Hoarders. : /

@TheThryll

CAMPING TIP: If you get lost in the woods, a compass can help you get lost more north.

@AsgardianRose

No animal is more conniving and deceptive than Guinea Pigs, whom are neither pigs or from Guinea.

@Darlainky

No one lays down beats like Gaston, fills the seats like Gaston, when on Twitter nobody tweets like Gaston.

@Marcmywords2

There’s 2 types of people in this world, people who give 110%, and the people who passed 4th grade math.

@Breadery

Every squirrel is a flying squirrel if you’ve got a good throwing arm.

@Inferno_V

A grown man smelling like baby powder stood next to me today.

My maternal instincts have never been so confused.

@Bevels333

Holding back your crazy is like sucking in your fat. Eventually it’s gonna come out.

@hipstermermaid

I’m going to go to the gym and then to eat a Doritos Loco Taco, because I like to keep my body guessing whether or not I hate it.