I bought Oreos for my kid’s camp and I have to drive home with them next to me and not eat them. I may not have thought this through completely
Since I am unemployed, for Christmas you have a choice of a hug or I’ll rap Eminem songs for 5 minutes for you.
You Might Also Like
I have a Polish friend who is a roadie for a band.
I have a Czech one too. A Czech one too. Czech one too.
Hub: She doesn’t have her priorities straight.
*Me on FaceTime with a petting zoo in the background* “That’s not true”
i’m reading this thesaurus. it’s really interesting, or should i say… very interesting.
I can never hear what my kids are up to while I’m in the shower so I just yell “HEY cut it out!” every 60 seconds and hope that keeps them in line
I hate when I buy new shoes,
and I have to learn to drive all over again.
Insomnia: she’s not going to sleep again and it’s all your fault
Coffee: she likes me strong and takes me late at night
Me: can you two stop talking about me like I’m not right here
garage sales are a great place to find extra stuff for you to throw away when you move
In High School I was pretty popular with all the boys.
I was known as “Hey, will you ask your friend if she likes me?”
My hamster, Max, was involved in a terrible accident. He must have fallen asleep at the wheel.