@LindaSuePark: Dear makers of women's clothing, Pants pockets should be like poetry: DEEP ENOUGH TO BE MEANINGFUL.
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@prufrockluvsong: [me, stacking babies on top of each other] Him: Wha...What are you doin there? Me: Oh, you know, just building up the infant structure.
@drayzze: I'm not superstitious. But if you're wearing a hockey mask and holding a machete I'll be bothered. #FridayThe13th
@KKAlThani: Just banged my toe on a table & kept moaning in pain so much that I made a new Coldplay song.