@reczit: Dear messed-up memory, please tell me where are my keys instead of reminding me that shit I did on May 08, 2002 at 09;13;54 PM.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@heyitsJudeD: 6yo: Newton discovered gravy Me: gravity, he discovered gravity. 6yo: what's that? Me: it's what stops you floating off into space 6yo: *sadly* he should have stuck with the gravy
@turnerbarrowman: My girlfriend will be like "you suck at decorating" and then confidently put three twigs in an old milk jug.