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@Gizmo_1984: Dear middle finger, thank you for sticking up for me.
@Smurfettude: Remember: It's not stalking if you don't see me.
@Book_Krazy: New neighbor: Hi. It's nice to meet you.
Me: It's nice to meet you too. This is my daughter, 9
Neighbor: What's your Twitter @
@jnapsalot: You never realize how a dirty a song is until you hear a 3 year old sing it.
@KentWGraham: What wine goes well with two ungrateful teenagers, an oppressive boss and insurmountable credit card debt?