@TheThomason: Death row last meal? Starfish. Eat a leg, it grows back. Sit back and enjoy a long life eating starfish legs in an electric chair.
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@: Jumped over a puddle with an accidentally flamboyant step today, if anyone's currently casting a production of "West Side Story."
@nbadag: GF: um—you said you had something important to show me [a fat little penguin waddles by wearing a monacle] ME: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WAIT
@AndrewChamings: interviewer: do you feel like you have grown as a person? me: ok well I was literally like a foot tall when I was born