[Getting ready to go out]
Her: Is that what you’re wearing?
Narrator: He thought it was, but he was wrong.
Definitely never want to own a small fruit stand in an action movie.
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Haven’t refilled my prescriptions in a while. Which has been instrumental creating the mass grave beneath this wood shed.
I’d be lost without the care instructions on these pants.
My uncle Paul does great bird impressions,
He eats worms.
Wanna feel old? Only 6 people are now Kung-Fu Fighting.
There’s a fly in the den so my cat is reenacting the Matrix
Sorry about that time I gave you advice that would have made your life ten times better. Good thing you chose to completely ignore it. Phew.
If she doesn’t scream “YES!” in bed… I don’t know. Maybe start asking her different questions?
To anyone who hates the idea of sequels, remember that there were 181 Blinks before we got the good one.
4: remember when mommy didn’t have her strap on?
Husband: she didn’t have her WHAT?!
4: her strap on!
Husband: I didn’t even know mommy had a-
Me, from another room: SHE MEANS WHEN I WORE THE STRAPLESS DRESS AT OUR WEDDING