@joeveix

Definitely never want to own a small fruit stand in an action movie.

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@Tmoney68

[Getting ready to go out]

Her: Is that what you’re wearing?

Narrator: He thought it was, but he was wrong.

@CrackedIllusion

Haven’t refilled my prescriptions in a while. Which has been instrumental creating the mass grave beneath this wood shed.

@LoveNLunchmeat

Sorry about that time I gave you advice that would have made your life ten times better. Good thing you chose to completely ignore it. Phew.

@LaytesAgain

If she doesn’t scream “YES!” in bed… I don’t know. Maybe start asking her different questions?

@PatsATweetin

To anyone who hates the idea of sequels, remember that there were 181 Blinks before we got the good one.

@SnarkyMommy78

4: remember when mommy didn’t have her strap on?

Husband: she didn’t have her WHAT?!

4: her strap on!

Husband: I didn’t even know mommy had a-

Me, from another room: SHE MEANS WHEN I WORE THE STRAPLESS DRESS AT OUR WEDDING