ladies, when he’s sick, treat him right
1. make him chicken soup
2. tuck him in with the remote
3. buy a boa constrictor to snuggle him
*deletes fb account*
*leaves social media*
*goes to Himalayas*
*pigeon comes with a note*
*candy crush request*
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[spotlight tracks me as I head for Exit]
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*pulls motorist over*
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MAN: If I were high would you look like a breathing tree?
*one leaf silently falls from cop*
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