@daemonic3

Demi Lovato is my favorite singer that is half human, half Lovato.

You Might Also Like

@spazrunsny

Telling a woman she’s being unreasonable is like juggling lit torches while waist deep in gun powder.

@JasonLastname

If a shark attacks you, DO NOT punch him in the nose. Be the bigger person and just ignore him.

@stevevsninjas

*Workers at the pinball factory trying to go home, but the automatic swinging doors keep knocking them back inside*

@Bearslietoo

Playing hard to get works with some men but apparently cops call it “resisting arrest.”

@Tmoney68

I think I’m finally becoming more mature. Now when I watch Spongebob I usually agree with Squidward.

@canadasandra

We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.

@mymizztake

15 men all vying for the chance to fight with one woman:
1. The Bachelorette
2. The American presidential race
Samsies.