@CutPics

Design fail.

You Might Also Like

@UgIyPPL

me: siri tell me a joke

siri: *turns on front facing camera*

@anniemalistics

[before invention of Twitter]

Void: I just feel empty sometimes

Abyss: *sighs* IKR

[after invention of Twitter]

Void: (:

Abyss: (:

@KenJennings

“This tweet isn’t funny yet. Welp, better remove all the commas and capital letters! Ah, PERFECTION!” –me

@moose_chocolate

*man invents wheel*

“How can we possibly improve this?”

*Man invents wheel of cheese*

“Nailed it!”

@_The_Man__

Wife: the library called about an overdue book
*eye my copy of Outlandish Excuses for Everyday Life*
“Tell them I died in the moon wars”

@stuckinaportal

*walks in on son making batman & iron man action figures kiss*

wtf?

“dad i can explain”

u should never EVER mix the dc & marvel universes

@CourtneyBale

Theravada Monks purge all their earthly possessions to express their faith and pursue spiritual stillness of mind. I did it because fleas.

@meghaffer

Spring allergies- because my body likes to panic about plant sex