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@kimlockhartga: DID Y'ALL KNOW THAT THEY MAKE CAFFEINATED WATER? WHY AM I YELLING?!?
@NCSox: I needed a laugh this morning.
@eminmien: "There's nothing wrong with being single."
"I've got plenty of time."
"I'm not lonely."
Sir, are you going to buy anything?
@TomSchally: Russian nesting dolls are so full of themselves.
@Token_Geezer: What do you call a man who thinks women are easy to lie to?
@CroweJam: Told her I'd rather eat laundry than fold it and now I'm having boxers for breakfast.