@TheDairylandDon

Did you ever see someone yawn, and then yawn yourself? That psychological reaction is a phenomenon known as: “Katherine Heigl movies.”

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@shegotagronk

Realized it was time to seek help for my Twitter addiction after I opened a carton of eggs and said “Oh look, 12 new followers!”

@momtribevibe

My kids brought me breakfast in bed, then proceeded to eat MY breakfast. If that doesn’t sum up motherhood I don’t know what does.

@ADHDeanASL

Paranormal Activity, but the demon that drags us out of bed is called “work”

@AbbyHasIssues

Me: I hate math.

Also me: If I cut my shower down to three minutes and breakfast down to ten, I can hit the nine-minute snooze two more times and only be five minutes late.

@Mikecanrant

*puts baby marshmallows on a porcupine*

There you go little guy. Now you’re bouncy.

@PaperWash

Why use 2 A’s in the name Aaron? Why not 17? What’s stopping us?

@lemonmartinis

9yr old poured milk on the cat. When I asked why he said “He’s thirsty and likes to lick himself.” I couldn’t argue with that.