A group of guys with ponytails is called a flock of Steven Seagulls
Did you ever see someone yawn, and then yawn yourself? That psychological reaction is a phenomenon known as: “Katherine Heigl movies.”
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Realized it was time to seek help for my Twitter addiction after I opened a carton of eggs and said “Oh look, 12 new followers!”
My kids brought me breakfast in bed, then proceeded to eat MY breakfast. If that doesn’t sum up motherhood I don’t know what does.
Paranormal Activity, but the demon that drags us out of bed is called “work”
Chuck Norris once gave an uppercut to a horse!
Now we have Giraffes.
Me: I hate math.
Also me: If I cut my shower down to three minutes and breakfast down to ten, I can hit the nine-minute snooze two more times and only be five minutes late.
*puts baby marshmallows on a porcupine*
There you go little guy. Now you’re bouncy.
Why use 2 A’s in the name Aaron? Why not 17? What’s stopping us?
9yr old poured milk on the cat. When I asked why he said “He’s thirsty and likes to lick himself.” I couldn’t argue with that.