@DrawingShadows: Did you ever think that one day you would be this addicted to reading and writing?
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@HansGrubertron: [Fancy restaurant] DATE: *seductively* I like a man who knows what he wants ME: *way too loudly* THERE'S NOT ENOUGH KETCHUP ON MY TATER TOTS
@TheBeerdedOne: Lottery gives you a 1 in 200M chance of skipping work tomorrow...alcohol is 1 in 5. You play your game...I'll play mine
@madeleinedoux: "the pizza boy is here" It's time, I thought, cocking my shotgun. I was sending this half pizza half man abomination straight back to hell