Turning on a guy is like flipping a light switch. Turning on a woman is like wiring that switch & then building a nuclear plant to power it.
Did you just call me a boombox? Eugh that’s such a stereotype
You Might Also Like
No c?h?i?l?d? donuts left behind.
i put the “:/” in “http://”.
Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Feed a man to the fishes, and you’ll never have to share your food again.
Hagrid: yer a wizard Harry!
*wakes up from 20 year coma*
SHIT, MY TAMOGOTCHI
Doctor: it’s important to incorporate purple foods into your diet.
Me: *eats purple cupcakes*
Husband: How about a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
is it considered a threesome if i jack off with both hands?
My kid lost a tooth and plans to put it under her pillow tonight so the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy can meet and hopefully make a love connection and I am HERE FOR IT