@T_Bonezzz_: Did you know that it takes 0 facial muscles to give you the finger
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@runawaycupcake: Apparently just sitting here on my new lawn furniture drinking my Vodka & minding my business is disturbing to other Target guests.
@notalogin: God never gives you more than you can handle. But I'm not God. I'm just a bag boy. And you'll wanna take these groceries out in the cart.
@tastefactory: *firefighter wraps me in blanket after he rescues me* Um I just came out of a fire so I'm pretty hot actually