@dorsalstream

*dipping a pine cone in my coffee* Gosh I just love fall

You Might Also Like

@WilliamAder

Not sure who graded these eggs as Extra-Large, but I’m guessing it was a guy.

@KelFocker

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?”

@fro_vo

who called it an infinity scarf instead of a scaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

@LuckoftheDraw86

In a room full of idiots screaming their opinions at the top of their lungs, be the guy in the corner doing finger guns with his reflection.

@StephenAtHome

If you’re doing nothing wrong, you have nothing to hide from the giant surveillance apparatus the government’s been hiding.

@rysox80

Uh oh, happy facebook newlywed, your husband just created a twitter account.

@MindyFurano

if you can’t handle me at my worst is there another preferably more affordable therapist you can refer me to

@TheBoydP

Big props to the guy who realized we don’t need to mention air in the word airplane and started saying plane.