*Leaves a trail of chicken nuggets leading to the bedroom instead of rose petals.
Dipping your cats in blue paint and watching them chase each other is 1000x more entertaining than Avatar.
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Please do not try to befriend the velociraptors. Emotionally they take much more than they give
On average people watch 8 Spider-Man movies a year in their sleep
“Why don’t you just tell her how you feel?”
“Girl, I feel with my nerves.”
ME: You have a beautiful home.
HER: I’m a bartender. You’re at a bar.
If a CW won’t take ownership of their mistake, the discussion about having them killed should at least be on the table, surely?
~ reason 153 why I’ve been asked to visit HR ‘for a chat’ this year.
[sending smoke signals]
They don’t seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts. Sad.
Kids here’s a tip. Next Christmas leave Santa marijuana cookies and watch how happy your parents magically become the next morning