@TheTweetOfGod: Distant galaxies are speeding away from the Milky Way at an ever-accelerating velocity just to get the hell away from you.
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@Fickle_Filly: You know it's time to quit smoking when you laugh at a tweet and you sound like Muttley.
@Sean_Burgundy_: There's nothing worse than when you tell someone it's a long story and they reply with "I have time."
@Tiny_Rickshaw: wife: i've sent the kids to the sitter me: cool wife: *taking clothes off* you know what that means? me: yeah, someone who looks after our children for money