Someone robbed a Pensacola Mini Mart stealing 300 cases of Red Bull. How do these people sleep at night.
DJ VAN HELSING: this one goes out to my boy, Drac
DRACULA: *rolls eyes* oh here we go
DJ VAN HELSING: *plays Man in the Mirror*
*maintains eye contact*
*leaves with Drac’s girl*
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I have, a really beautiful body
under my floor boards
OJ Simpson now has a Twitter Account. I’m sure he’ll kill it here
It’s been 3 years and my golden retriever has yet to retrieve any gold at all. 0 stars.
[catching up with an old friend]
me: [out of breath] how are you still so fast
my (38F) identical twin daughters (11F) met at summer camp and have unionized
My mother’s scale of concern:
1 missed call = I am busy with the kids.
2 missed calls = I am being murdered in a ditch.
sorry to bodyshame, but ferrets have no business being that long
Another day, another nope.
So it turns out we were both wrong, but the important thing to remember is you were more wrong.