Me: You say all the right things.
Her: I didn’t say anything.
Me: Shhh Don’t ruin this for me.
DND allows you to play out even the most impossible fantasies, such as:
-Speaking multiple languages
-Traveling with friends
-Waking up Early
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[medusa’s husband sighing and pulling a wad of snakes out of the shower drain]
[On a date]
Him: I love a woman with a sense of humor, I’m a sucker for a good pun.
Me: omg same. lol Jeremy if you were sliced up into little pieces and soaked in coffee liqueur and then layered between ladyfingers you’d be a jeramisu.
me: thanks for explaining what a plethora is
her: ur welcome
me: it really means a lot
If a bear tries to attack you in the woods, give it your bicycle. Maybe it’s one of those circus bears, you never know.
Women dressed head to toe in animal print just bumped into me, thought I was being attacked my an obese leopard.
NASA faked the cow jumping over the moon.
And The Bro saith unto them,
Follow me to the club,
and I will make you fishers of women.
I don’t think I cadaver study a dead body
My toddler just threw her teddy bear out of her crib like she works for United Airlines.