@Bouuvine

DND allows you to play out even the most impossible fantasies, such as:

-Speaking multiple languages
-Traveling with friends
-Being Charismatic
-Waking up Early
-Having money

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@knot_eye

Me: You say all the right things.

Her: I didn’t say anything.

Me: Shhh Don’t ruin this for me.

@TheCatWhisprer

[medusa’s husband sighing and pulling a wad of snakes out of the shower drain]

@elle91

[On a date]
Him: I love a woman with a sense of humor, I’m a sucker for a good pun.
Me: omg same. lol Jeremy if you were sliced up into little pieces and soaked in coffee liqueur and then layered between ladyfingers you’d be a jeramisu.
Him:
Me:
Him:
Me: jeramisu

@clichedout

me: thanks for explaining what a plethora is

her: ur welcome

me: it really means a lot

@Sassafrantz

If a bear tries to attack you in the woods, give it your bicycle. Maybe it’s one of those circus bears, you never know.

@Jennifergr8

Women dressed head to toe in animal print just bumped into me, thought I was being attacked my an obese leopard.

@UncleDuke1969

And The Bro saith unto them,
Follow me to the club,
and I will make you fishers of women.

Bromans 4:19

@TheCatWhisprer

My toddler just threw her teddy bear out of her crib like she works for United Airlines.