“DO NOT TOUCH” must be the most terrifying thing to read in braille

You Might Also Like


This ebola scare is getting out of hand I just threw ebola at someone who said good morning to me before I had my coffee



*thousands of people turn around*

Guy who invented names: I HAVE to fix this.


I think the bigger issue with our country is that Paula Deen even had that many endorsements to lose in the 1st place.


I have a bad feeling I’ll be wearing one of those barrels with suspenders by the end of the year, but not in a fun, whimsical way.


Nothing in the history of the English language has backfired more than the phrase “calm down.”


Nothing’s sadder than the look on my dog’s face when I reach under the kitchen table to pet her and she realizes my hand is empty.


[first date]
I’m sorry, I fiddle when I get nervous
“That’s okay”
*jams out epic fiddle solo for the rest of the date*


Overheard at the pool:

Grandma: what do you want the baby to be? a brother or sister?

*long pause*

3 year old: a cat


I walked briskly to the nearest safe haven as I was being chased by the hood on my jacket.