@LoveNLunchmeat: Do people who go to stores on Black Friday know that if you anger your entire family, you don't have to buy holiday gifts?
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@AristotlesNZ: 3yo just yelled "face-five!" & slapped his brother in the face. I'm totally using that at work tomorrow.
@hippieswordfish: [in bed] WIFE: *pulls away from kissing* does he really have to be here ME: yes i paid good money for this NBA JAM ANNOUNCER: HES HEATING UP
@wendchymes: Just once I want a man to sweep me off my feet and carry me to bed WITHOUT all the groaning, swearing and yelling out "DEAR GOD MY BACK!"