@TheBigBatman

Do you ever get shampoo in your eyes and wonder what the name of your guide dog will be?

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@OfficialBabyGal

Fun game: Take pictures with your camera sound turned up when someone comes into the bathroom stall next to yours.

@TheBoydP

Welcome to your fifties. You need to try on belts before you buy them now.

@Soeljchillinger

Toy story 2 has yet to explain how a stuffed horse kept pace with a commercial aircraft taking off on a runway

@Skoogeth

[literally every petting zoo]

Zookeeper: wanna pet a goat?

Me: [shrugs] I guess

Zookeeper: k cool. Cuz we got, like, 90% goats here.

@Cheeseboy22

I am pretty impressed with the woman that created the algorithm to take the first photo of a black hole. Especially because it took me four tries to correctly spell the word “algorithm.”

@HenpeckedHal

Starting next year, Santa comes in the afternoon while the kids are watching Netflix in their rooms so we don’t have to stay up all night assembling shit.

RT to cosign.