I just bought a beautiful 18th century bowl.
It even has a little sign on the bottom that says dishwasher safe.
Do you ever just look at a girl and instantly know she posts her daily horoscope on Facebook and quotes Marilyn Monroe?
You Might Also Like
8am: i’m so tired
10am: i’m so tired
1pm: i’m so tired
4pm: i’m so tired
8pm: i’m so tired
11pm: i’m so tired
2am: WHAT HAVEN’T I WATCHED ON NETFLIX, WHAT CAN I BUY ON AMAZON DOT COM, I AM GOING TO CHECK LINKEDIN FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER
[steps off crosstrainer]
“Hey girl [out of breath, hands on knee] you like f-fitness? Cos I’m fitn–”
“Shall I call an ambulance?”
If you see a porcupine in your yard, that’s my cat and we’re not done with our accupuncture session.
Me at 25: I am not going to be one of those adults who just gives up on fashion
Me at 35: I wear nightgowns as dresses because they’re softer
Don’t worry, protagonist. I’m sure your ridiculously specific amnesia has nothing to do with the missing member of the royal family who is exactly your age.
Very sad to announce I need to cancel the 2020 Boston Handshaking Festival.
Me: the enemy of my enemy is my friend
Enemy of my enemy: no, i don’t like you either
A tartan is what you get when you sunbathe on the asphalt