Do you ever really know if your bagpipe is in tune?

You Might Also Like


People hate me at B’way musicals because when the characters break into song, I always shout, “You don’t have to do this. Just talk to us.”


The first Transformer that comes to Earth will look like a Tesla.


Me: Santa, why are women so scary?

Santa: dude come on, I make $8.50 an hour, get off me.


twitter: Canadians are so nice

Canadians: *rubbing hands together* they’ve fallen into our trap


Actions speak louder than words when you smack someone in the back of the head with a shovel


the doggo pooped out a little plastic hand so now there’s some poor Barbie running around like Luke Skywalker.


My son announced to his entire class that the bank keeps calling Daddy every day to talk about money.

We’re renewing our mortgage.