Doc: So where’d you get your stage name?

Prince Charming: This is my real name

Doc: Right

Grumpy: Sounds legit *rolls eyes*

Prince Charming: You doubt me? I saved your beloved Snow White!

Doc: You made out with an unconscious lady

Prince Charming:

Grumpy: Charming indeed

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What would aliens say if told that Earthlings shift clocks by an hour to fool themselves into thinking there’s more sunlight


PSA: If your kid bumps into me one more time with your shopping cart I will unhinge my jaw and swallow him whole.


therapist: and what did we say you should do when you’re feeling upset?

me: order a large pizza and eat it in the shower while thinking of ways to avenge those who hurt me

therapist: no


I’m not paranoid, but I feel like there’s someone reading this…


ME: so basically it’s like the batsignal except it’s the golden arches so you know when the mcrib is back
SANTA: please get off my lap


Owls always look like they’ve just found out that they’ve been cheated on.


Oil the single ladies
Oil the single ladies
Oil the single ladies
Oil the single ladies
If you liked it then you should have put a rig on it