@Not_From_Troy: I did a survey and asked 5 women what kind of clothing brand they preferred. The 5 responded: "How the hell did you get into my house?"

@CulturedRuffian: I put some doughnuts, ice cream, and snickers bars in my blender for dessert tonight, so yeah-I juice.

@ddsmidt: Today I took the stairs. My legs burned, I was all out of breath and I stopped and I thought to myself… I really need to stop using the stairs.

@truegritrumble: BOSS: I hate "yes men." ME: Yeah. Me too. BOSS: I like employees who speak their mind. ME: Yeah. They're the best. BOSS: You get me. ME: Yep

@Manda_like_wine: She often thinks about what life may have been outside the asylum, had the cashier refrained from putting her change on top of the receipt.