WHAT ARE WE?
WHAT ARE WE WRITING?
Snacks first, THEN writing!
No, wait, coffee/tea too!
Maybe a nap beforehand!
No, then Twitter
Too late! Time for bed! Writing tomorrow
DOCTOR: what were you thinking? He had a sword.
ME: *bleeding everywhere, clutching my favorite pen* that’s not how it’s supposed to work
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A costumer just said to me that my daughter and I look like twins. And I was like, “Well, we were separated at birth.”
To convince my boss that I’m keeping busy, I periodically yell “YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME?” into my phone, then slam down the receiver.
Hubby just choked after he bit into a grape and it squirted down his throat….
Not as easy as it looks is it?
MUGGER: Empty your pockets
ME: Do I have to?
ME: [pulls out heart locket with pic of robber inside]
MUGGER: [wipes away single tear with his knife]
A letter to Paul from the Corinthians: Hey sup Paul. This is the Corinthians. This is my new number
I haven’t worn corduroy since that time I almost died in a fire chasing the ice cream man…
Witnessing a person attempt to use a word that is beyond their comprehension is like watching a dog eat a bee.
Did I tell you about the time I knocked down a kid with my bag on purpose? No? One time I knocked down a kid with my bag on purpose.