@wilw: Dog: I like pizza. Me: You've never had pizza. Dog: It's food. Me: So? Dog: So I like it. Me: I'm not giving you my pizza.
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@Ygrene: [McDonald's drive thru] Me: One burger pls Drive Thru: Ok one murder got it Me: Ha what (In a flash, Grimace is ripping the door off my car)
@QwertyJones3: A lot of people don't realize that Shania Twain's father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer.