@TheAlexNevil: *Dog puts cupcake on my nose and tells me to "stay"
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@simoncholland: All this data mining and Facebook still can’t tell me what to get my wife for her birthday.
@boxergraphix: #Itssocoldthat..A streaker froze in mid-streak! The town council just stuck a plaque on him and pretended he was a Greek statue until spring
@patrickmarkryan: You're not impressing anyone, people who put a comma before the person's name when wishing them a happy birthday on Facebook