Boy: Daddy can you beat a vampire?
Me: Well vampires don’t exis-
Boy: Can you beat a black hole?
Me: A black hole is-
Boy: A rhino?
Me: The thi-
Boy: A T-Rex?
Boy: Mike’s dad?
Me: *hand out* Paw….paw…
Dog: *sits there*
Me: What’s wrong, boy?
Dog: *hands me Purell*
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How old were you when you learned Red Velvet is a type of chocolate cake…?
I was today years old.
English: because i like it lol
me: that’s not a good anser
English: oh boy ur not gonna be happy about this
Why become a professional clown?
me: [picturing getting hit in the face with cream pies every day] um I like kids
Your search – Bruno Mars not wearing a stupid hat – did not match any documents. Did you mean: Bruno Mars wearing a stupid hat.
“Give your email a good password. Letters, symbols, numbers.”
“What about my atm card which holds all my money?”
“Any 4 numbers in a row.”
my son would be amazed if I showed him a first generation iPod because we’ve never met
College Math: Your kid lives in a dorm room the size of a matchbox. When she moves home, her belongings fill every inch of an entire house. How is it possible? Calculator allowed. Show your work.