@pmclellan: Dogs have dandruff and cats have dandmeow. Hi, I'm single.
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@AndrewNadeau0: ME: The cupboard keeps opening HANDYMAN: I see why M: Ghosts? H: ...This screw's loose M: Right... But where would ghosts get a screwdriver?
@markedly: Spanish: The h is silent English: Many letters can be silent French: All letters are meaningless, every living thing is born without reason
@TheAlexNevil: 7 barges into bathroom while I'm showering, laughs & says "I saw your peanut." He either mispronounced a word or made a hurtful observation.
@amselts: *cleans house while wife's out* W: *walks in* wow babe, thanks so- M: APRIL FOOL'S *runs around making huge mess til it's worse than before*