@LizHackett: Doing a low-budget but equally spiritually fulfilling version of Eat, Pray, Love entitled Gas Station, CVS, Return A Dress To Macy's.
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@SCbchbum: My gal pal: "Are you on a diet? You look so nice & thin... What's you're secret?!" Me: "Poverty."
@Stellacopter: Found an ant in my bathroom today, which is weird because I haven't had a picnic in there for like 3 months.
@Parkerlawyer: I have strict instructions to my husband that upon my death he has to put that “in memory of my beautiful wife” sticker on the back of his car or I’ll haunt him forever. But who am I kidding? I’m going to haunt him regardless.