[doing crossword]

Me: I’m looking for a word that means slight pause
Her: Hiatus?
Me: *erasing ‘our sex life’* thanks

You Might Also Like


Q: What kind of dinosaur loves sleep?
A: All of them! They will never wake up now.


Jesus died for our sins. But he was only dead for 3 days. So what did he sacrifice? His weekend. Jesus gave up his weekend for our sins.


I totally understand how batteries feel because I’m rarely ever included in things either.


I do my deepest thinking when I can’t figure out why someone honked at me.


{Driving behind semi}
*Sees the ‘How Am I Driving’ sign*
Hello?! There’s a problem. Your driver doesn’t understand how he’s driving


Mom: Help! Is anyone here a doctor?
Vet: I treat horses but maybe i can help
M: My son broke his leg!
V: Ok hang on. My rifle’s in the truck


My calendar says there’s a new moon tomorrow. The old one was there for 4.5 billion years; you’d think people would be more excited.