@kumailn: Donald Sterling saying racism is not a problem is like mosquitoes saying malaria is not a problem.
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@GrillinChillin9: Occasionally I set cases of beer out for the garbage men. Never know when you might need them to take out "suspicious" trash w/out questions
@KylePlantEmoji: I always get self conscious buying toilet paper like some high schooler is gonna take a picture of me and post it online with the caption "lmao this dude poops"
@markydoodoo: The deep ocean is so mysterious. Sharks and octopuses could be down there having dance battles and we'd never know. We'd never know.
@CulturedRuffian: Tim Burton could've saved a lot of money on 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' and just shown a 2016 Facebook Year in Review instead.