@CoreyKeyz: Don't bring up something I said 30 minutes ago. I'm a different person, I've changed since then.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@daemonic3: FRIEND: what's new? ME: my wife left me for some guy at that rental car company FRIEND: hertz? ME: yeah [holding back tears] it really does
@Darlainky: [at punchbowl] Me: You go ahead. Lady: No, I insist. Me: Together, then? *we both pour vodka from our purses in*
@Sanbel11: Police officer: Have you had anything to drink? Me:No PO:Ok, blow into here Me:But there are no candles PO:Ma'am please get out of the car