I left some new office rules in the break room of an office I don’t work at…
Don’t ever let anybody outshine you in life. If that means arriving at someone’s funeral in a casket, then so be it.
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if you don’t appreciate Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, I guess you could say you’re taking him for granite.
thanks & God bless
I heard my 7-yr old daughter yell out “Cue the battleship!” in her sleep & now I’m jealous because her dreams are a lot cooler than mine.
I have hidden my son’s socks in his sock drawer where he will never find them.
Don’t the networks have censors any more?
POLLY GETS A CRACKER WHEN HE STOPS REFERRING TO HIMSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON, and not a moment before. Stupid bird.
If you tell me your kid is 22 months and I buy it a beer, that’s on you. That is your bad.
I’ve been told I’m oblivious.
I had not noticed this.
my favorite childhood memory is fast metabolism
me: what do u mean my friend cant come in
bouncer: theres no way hes 21
stuart little: dude its fine lets just go